Last week, my spouse, Camie, got an unexpected call from her dad. Apparently, he needed a favor from her that involved her going to Houston for a couple of days at the beginning of this week. After she got off the phone with him, she called me to tell me the news. He rarely asks anything of her, she said, so she felt it was important that she go and be helpful.
My reaction to this news was less than understanding. First, it was horrible timing for my own schedule. I was going to be in charge of 25 teenagers and a church barbeque on Sunday, I had a mid-term to prepare for on Tuesday, not to mention the fact that it’s Holy Week and I had a Good Friday service and special Easter lessons to prepare. Having to be a single parent for a couple of days was NOT going to fit in nicely. This was the worst possible timing for me.
Second, I was upset that her dad’s needs were superseding my own. It was his fault that he waited until the last minute to call. It was the result of his own not-so-great choices that he needed Camie in Houston anyway. Why, I wondered, should we reward silly behavior?
After much loud ranting and quieter seething I – finally and thankfully – got a grip. And then I realized – shamefully and guiltily – how horrible my reaction had been. Why were my needs suddenly so much more important than everyone else’s? Why was I judging a situation I actually knew very little about? Why was I being so unsupportive of a loving attempt to help a family member in need? Ugh – I was not very happy with myself, to put it mildly.
It was, however, a great reminder about how difficult it is sometimes to live and act in the loving manner that God calls us to live. I know in my mind and in my heart that God calls me to have a generous and caring spirit. In fact, I teach that lesson at church each and every Sunday! But then a situation like this arises, and all of the angry, spiteful, self-centered parts of me rise up and let out a giant roar . . . just in case I have forgotten that they are there!
As it turns out, Camie ended up not even having to go to Houston. And she received my apology for how I had behaved with love and forgiveness. But my lesson has been learned. I can certainly talk the talk, but I still need work on walking the walk. Especially this weekend, as we put special focus on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, may we also focus on how we can continue to follow more closely Jesus’ example of living with love and grace.